My Favourite Room: The Sunroom

 

I love solitude.  However, a hectic work schedule combined with three children left very little “alone time” for me.  Most nights I would drop into bed shortly after tucking Ben in for the night and fall asleep mid “Hail Mary.”  Since my diagnosis, I have had more time to myself than ever before in my life.  And I’m lovin’ it!

Once the kids have left for school, I have six glorious hours to myself every weekday.  Sometimes I will pre plan my day, as I have to be sure to include the boring stuff, like doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping and paying bills.  Most days however, I awake to a blank slate which I can fill in any way I want.  Here are some of my favourites: go for a walk; do a meditation; cook a healthy pot of soup; sit in my sunroom with a cuppa and watch the seabirds; read; garden (in season); and catch up on emails to my friends.   As I pursue these stress relieving activities in complete silence, I know that I am creating an environment which is most conducive to healing.  Now, where did I put my seed catalogues?

Tip:  “Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life”. (Ann Richards)

Rachel with husband Barry.

A fellow cancer patient and new friend wrote a blog post last week stating that she didn’t quite get the whole blessings in disguise thing.  She’s heard it mentioned in various places, but just didn’t quite understand if they were blessings, why do they have to be disguised.  Good question, no?  Why can’t we just receive blessings, no strings attached or trials involved?

She certainly doesn’t feel like her cancer is a blessing at all and who can blame her!  Fearing for your life, chemo that makes you very sick, losing your hair – none of those things remotely resemble what any of us would consider blessings at all.

This was my response to her:

I don’t think the cancer, itself, is a blessing, but my experience has been that I have received many blessings because of having cancer. Many of these blessings are things I would have never experienced were it not for having cancer such as the love and care of friends, the fresh eyes that I am now seeing my life through, and the way the diagnosis has created an even stronger bond between my husband and myself. The cancer is mean, harsh, and destructive, but I am determined that it will not drag me down to its level. I’m trying hard to focus on the best parts of it and think as little as possible about the negative side. I think the blessings aspect of having cancer is easier to accept the farther away we get from diagnosis. On day one, there was too much shock, too much fear and too many tears to even think about blessings. Nine months into this, I’m able to have a better perspective on the whole thing. Hope you are doing well today and feeling strong!

I can see where she’s coming from because we tend to think (and would LOVE for) blessings to be awesome, wonderful, and all full of happiness and light.  But that’s not necessarily going to the be the case all the time.  We may receive straight out blessings in our lives that did not require us to go through a any sort of trial before hand, but there are definitely going to be trials, struggles, hardships, and turmoil that may ultimately result in blessings.

Whether we have cancer or not, I think it has a lot to do with perspective because God is placing blessings in our path – we just have to recognize them for what they are.  And sometimes – often in fact – they are not always recognizable as such until after the fact.

Cancer itself is not a blessing, it’s a nasty disease that robs people of everything from their hair to their dignity and sometimes, ultimately, their life on earth.  So, no, cancer is not a blessing.  But because of cancer, I have been blessed in more ways than I can count, and here are some of the biggies:

1. My love and respect for my husband has been multiplied by 1,000 as I watch him love and care for me through this.
2. I see life through different eyes.  Not bitter eyes, but grateful eyes.  Every moment with family, every sunrise, even every tiny daily annoyance is a gift to be appreciated.
3. Cancer is a motivator.  It is propelling me to do and try some things I would have never done or tried before (like blogging for one).
4. People have reached out to me, shared their hearts with me, and shown me how much they love me because of cancer.  WHAT a gift – and a blessing – that has been.

Whether your trial is cancer or illness, a job loss, a house that won’t sell, a rebellious child, or an annoying co-worker, I hope that you will take some time to step back and look for some of the blessings that may be hidden in these difficulties.  Be open to receiving them.  You may be surprised what you find!

♥ Rachel

The Strang Sisters (L to R): Lessy, Florence, Juana,Sherry. (Missing from photo: Lynette)

I am very fortunate to be one of five sisters.  I am especially blessed that two of these sisters, Sherry and Juana, live close by.  They have been an integral part of my support team.   Although sister Lynette lives in Florida, she was able to come visit with me soon after my diagnosis, and I enjoyed an awesome stay with her in January.  However, sister Lessy lives in a land far, far away (Calgary), and I had not seen her in nearly two years.  It is never easy to be away from your family, and this becomes even more true when you are facing cancer.

Last week, I got the surprise of my life when she unexpectedly strolled into my kitchen!  Normally when Lessy comes to visit, I see very little of her, since she has so many other relatives and friends to see.  But this time, she devoted her entire visit to spending time with me and transporting me to my medical appointments.  What an unexpected and delightful perk! As an added bonus, Lessy is in to various alternative healing modalities, such as Reiki, so I took advantage of a few freebies.  My aura has never been cleaner and my chakras are completely balanced.

Tip:  It is ok to take advantage of your siblings when you have cancer, that is what they are there for. (Besides, you would do the same for them.)

This quotation really resonates with me.  Cancer is certainly not the first storm that I have weathered in my life.  I am not even sure if it is the most difficult storm that I have survived (so far).  What I do know for sure is that I refuse to cower under the covers and wait for this storm to pass.  I’m gonna dance in the rain, baby.  Move over Ellen!

I was feeling kind of flattered when my two sisters practically broke out in a fight over who was going to take me to my next doctor’s appointment.   How sweet of these real life Florence Nightingale’s to insist on holding my hand through another uncomfortable medical procedure.   Yeah, right!  The real truth reared its ugly head when I caught sister Lessy texting other sister Juana, “This place is crawling with hunks…”  And by “hunk” I am pretty sure she was referring to the surgeon who had just inserted a drainage tube into my incision.

While having to see so many doctors for my  treatments is not a fun part of having cancer, the fact that they are easy on the eyes, does make it a perk.   With doctors nicknamed  the likes of Dr. McDreamy, Dr. McSteamy, and Buns of Steel, (named  by my sisters, I might add) it sometimes feels like I am in a real life episode of Grey’s Anatomy!

Tip:  Just because you have cancer doesn’t mean you can’t LOOK.

P.S.  I received some good news at my last appointment with my surgeon.  The lymph nodes which were removed during my mastectomy in January all tested NEGATIVE for cancer!  (In July, 3 of the 4 removed for testing did have cancer.)  It is a baby step in my recovery, but a step in the right direction.  Thank you God, and thanks to everyone who has prayed for me.

Canon Kevin George is an Anglican Priest at St. mark’s by-the-Lake church in Tecumseh, Ontario – just outside Windsor.

 Kevin is a native of Newfoundland, having been raised in Whiteway, Trinity Bay.He received a Bachelor in Education from Memorial University of Newfoundland and a Masters in Divinity from Huron University College at the University of Western Ontario in London.  In May of 2012 Kevin will receive his Doctorate in Ministry in Parish Revitalization from McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago – with his thesis work having been rooted in Interfaith Dialogue. Kevin is committed to Ecumenism. This is evidenced in his marriage. Catherinanne is Director of Campus Ministry at Brescia University College, a Roman Catholic University at the University of Western Ontario.

Kevin enjoys writing and maintains a regular blog at www.canonkevin.com He is currently working on a book of inspirational stories which he hopes to release at a book launch in Newfoundland later in 2012.

A Single Act of Love

  A couple of years ago I made my first trip to the UK. I was really impressed with Westminster Abbey. The beauty, splendor and the fact that you are walking through the hallways of history, leaves you in awe for every minute spent there. At the great west entrance there are ten statues that celebrate the lives of twentieth century martyrs.  To be honest, I was more than a little surprised when we visited there and I stumbled upon these memorials as I stood outside at the end of evening prayer.  Having just been inside and having prayed next to tombs, monuments and memorials to people like William Chaucer, William Shakespeare, Sir Isaac Newton, Mary Queen of Scots, Edward the Confessor, (the list is extensive), it was a surprise to see likenesses of Dr. Martin Luther King, Dietrich Bonheoffer, Esther John, who were names well known to me because of recent history. Wow, modern day saints on the wall of this ancient abbey were an impressive juxtaposition. It is a great testimony to the idea that God is still speaking, still revealing and still inspiring hope. As I stood in awe of this magnificent place and thinking about the brave acts of Martin Luther King and Dietrich Bonheoffer, I began to think about how God speaks so powerfully to us even today. We look way back and talk of God’s love expressed through the lives of the Saints, but we forget that the community of saints still dwells among us and we are called into that community. We are also called to speak hope and love to a world that is engrossed at times with despair.

One of the martyrs on that west wall is Maximilian Kolbe. Kolbe was a Franciscan friar who was killed at Auschwitz for helping Jews hide from persecution. The Nazis tried to starve Kolbe with 10 others. When he refused to dies and was the last man left living the Nazis killed him with an injection of carbolic acid. During his time of imprisonment he maintained his faith and was a source of great strength to fellow prisoners. How impressed I was to see Kolbe above that West entrance at Westminster Abbey. How wonderful that the Abbey recognizes the work that God continues to do by erecting statues to those that have paid so much in our recent history as a testimony to their faith.

Maximilian Kolbe wrote – “A single act of love makes the soul return to life.” His life was marked by acts of love. What about our lives? Do we realize that God wants us to live among the community of saints? Are we aware that our actions can be an important part of what God wants to accomplish today? I write this not because I think we should see ourselves as self important, but because even in the act of loving we have so much opportunity to bring about change and hope in the life of another human being. Kolbe reminded us what a Christian witness is all about. He did that for us not just by dying as a martyr, but by living as a saint. We need to remember that our lives also need to be about witnessing to hope. That witness may be as simple as a ‘single act of love.’ The act of love brings the soul to life…Kolbe does not specify which soul. It could be the soul of the one offering the single act of love or the one who receives love when she so desperately needs it. Either way – we see that loving brings life. Let us all ask what single act of love we might embrace today?

I wonder who will be memorialized at Westminster Abbey 50 years from now. Stay tuned!

Before cancer, my  visits to the post office normally yielded only unwanted flyers, and even more unwanted bills.  Since being diagnosed however, I empty my mailbox each day like a child would empty a stocking on Christmas morning.  Many days embedded among the flyers and (sigh…) bills, I find a gold nugget:  a card, a note,  or a gift sent to cheer me through my recovery.    A few days ago, I was very fortunate to find not one, but two of these nuggets in the mail, both very personal and thoughtful gifts.   Then later in the day, some of my former colleagues showed up at the door with a big bouquet of flowers, to share a cup of tea and a few laughs.   Ahhhhhh, life is good!

Tip:  If you are fortunate enough to have people in your life who send a card, a gift, a wish for your recovery, a prayer, or to visit with you, REJOICE!

Hey, I know what you are thinking, Ladies, “What is so perky about early menopause?”  Those were my thoughts exactly when my Oncologist told me about “chemopause”: a side effect of chemo which causes the womanly cycle to come to an abrupt halt.  Sitting in the pretty young doctor’s office with Shawn by my side,( just three months into our relationship), I couldn’t help but blush as she told us the likely side effects:  mood swings, hot flashes, loss of libido, weight gain, and no more monthly periods (well, that part I was looking forward to).    I would not have been surprised if my new love had suddenly bolted out the door, but I’m glad he decided to stick around.    Sure enough, menopause kicked in soon after chemo, but fortunately my only unpleasant symptom has been hot flashes…..a small price to pay to get rid of the dreaded monthly visitor.

Many moons ago, while I was still married, I whined to my best friend that my hubbie turned into a complete villain once a month,  purposely doing things like slurping his soup in an attempt to drive me bonkers.  In fact, when I thought about it, it seemed that everyone around me got kind of crazy at that time.  “Does this happen at the same time every month?” my wise friend asked.  “Yeah, usually just before my period”, I confided.  Ahhhhh, it suddenly dawned on me;  they weren’t trying to make me crazy,  I had PMS.  But those days are behind me now.  As an added perk of chemopause, I no longer turn into a demon once a month.

Tip:  Early menopause is not all bad, just think of the perks: no more periods and no more PMS.  A few hot flashes is a small price to pay.

Rest in peace, Susan Niebur and Rachel Cheetham Moro, fellow breast cancer warriors and bloggers who both passed away on Monday Feb. 6^th, 2012.

Well, here it is two months post-chemo and still no sign of hair. My family and friends keep saying, “Oh, it looks like it is starting to grow in.” Truth is, they are just being nice and I am still as bald as an egg. To add insult to injury, my partner, Shawn, is blessed with a head of thick, dark, wavy hair (he claims it is his Head and Shoulders shampoo). Maybe if he had thinning hair like most self-respecting middle aged men, I wouldn’t feel so much like Mrs. Kojak!  However, having a mane to manage is not all that it is cracked up to be. While Shawn was doing his man-grooming recently, he said, “OMG! Darlin’ is that a grey hair in my sideburn? Pluck it out please before they spread!” I quickly retorted, “Well, plucking my own grey hairs is one less thing I have to worry about.” May as well look on the bright side!

Tip: Believe it or not, being bald has its own perks. Not having to pluck or color your grey hairs is one of them.