Perk # 92: Cancer Forced Me To Forgive
30 May 2012 12 Comments
in positive attitude cancer Tags: cancer, forgiveness, Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
Long before my diagnosis, I read a book which changed my life: You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay. She believes that all dis-ease/disease in the body has an underlying emotional cause. In the case of cancer, the underlying cause is holding on to resentment, which eats away at the spirit as cancer eats away at the body. In order to free oneself of resentment, it is necessary to forgive.
I believe in a holistic view of healing. I took a firm hand to healing my body, through my treatments, diet, exercise and supplements. I realized however, that true healing would not happen unless I also addressed the needs of mind and my spirit. I had some forgiving to do!
Every day for more than a month, I would visualize the people who have hurt me, and I would say in my mind, “I forgive you and I wish you well.” Sometimes a little voice in my head would jump in and say, “I forgive you and I wish you well……you bitch!” But eventually I came to feel the truth of my words, and I was able to truly forgive. It does not matter that these people do not know they are forgiven. Some of them may not even know that they have hurt me. This exercise was not about freeing them, but freeing myself, since the only person I was hurting by holding on to resentment was me. Once I was able to release that, I opened a space in my spirit for true healing.
Although I was diligent in practicing this exercise, I still had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting to forgive someone. Hmmmmmm……my exes? Check. Friends? Check. Family members? Check. People at work? Check. Then, one day, while waiting for a radiation treatment, I was practicing my affirmation: “ I love and approve of myself just as I am”, when that little voice in my head spoke up once again. It said, “How can you possibly approve of yourself just as you are? You are far from perfect. You are bossy, stubborn and you expect perfection in your relationships with others.” I then realized that the person I was forgetting to forgive was myself. I had never really forgiven myself for a failed marriage, and I harboured guilt for having hurt other people. I was also having trouble forgiving myself for Ben’s autism. Deep inside I wondered if I had done something wrong to cause this disorder. So I was then forced to forgive the one person most in need of my forgiveness: Me. Now when I say my affirmation, “I love and approve of myself just as I am,” I really mean it, warts and all.
Tip: Repeat after me: I love and approve of myself just as I am.
Perk # 91: A Great Save On The Heat
25 May 2012 1 Comment
in humor cancer Tags: heating bill, perks of cancer, tamoxifen
I was recently pleasantly surprised by a decrease in my heating bill. As I pondered the reason for this stroke of good fortune, my daughter said, “It’s no wonder, mom, this house is like an ice box since you started taking that new pill.” Ahhhh, Tamoxifen. While chemo-pause causes “tropical moments” Tamoxifen can bring on what I can only describe as “oven hours”; prolonged periods of intense body heat. I will not kid you, this can cause discomfort at times, but just consider the money I am saving in heating bills! (So kids, go put on a sweater.)
Tip: Don’t try to resist your hot flashes. Recognize when they are coming, and focus on deep breathing until they pass.
Photo Challenge
22 May 2012 8 Comments
I just found an interesting blogging challenge started by Jen at “Keep The Calm.” The challenge is to post a picture of myself which depicts who I have been in the last six months.
For me, the past six months included my cancer treatments, and a lot of time to go within and do some soul searching. So here it is:
Solitude
Perk # 90: …….And To Adopt Some Good Habits
22 May 2012 5 Comments
in breast cancer Tags: cancer healthy habits, healthy eating, wheatgrass, wheatgrass juice
My son, Donovan, walked into the kitchen one morning and asked, “Mom, why does it smell like someone just mowed the lawn in here?”
“Well, son, that’s my breakfast,” I replied.
Yes, my friends, I am doing grass; wheatgrass, that is. In case you are wondering, it tastes every bit as good as it sounds. However, along with kicking some old bad habits, cancer motivated me to adopt some new, healthy ones. Juicing wheatgrass is one of them.
I have read a lot of good things about wheatgrass juice. I am no medical expert, but taking living grass, squeezing the green “blood” from it, and then drinking it, has to be good for you. The fact that it ranks right up there with broccoli and raw cabbage in taste tests, is further proof to me that it is healthy. Therefore, while it takes a lot of work just to produce just one ounce of the juice, I plan to continue with this healthy habit.
Tip: Be open to trying new foods for their health benefits.
Perk # 89: Cancer Motivated Me To Drop Some Bad Habits……
19 May 2012 4 Comments
in breast cancer Tags: bad habits, breast cancer alcohol
Before getting cancer, I considered myself to be living a healthy-ish lifestyle. I didn’t smoke, I exercised on a regular basis, and I even ate the occasional green salad. But ya know, we all have our vices. For some it is chocolate (I couldn’t be bothered); for others it’s fast food (I’d much rather cook a leisurely meal at home); for me it’s wine. Nothing brings me more pleasure than sipping on a cold sauvignon blanc. First my taste buds spring to life, then I feel the warm sensation as it hits my belly, followed by the comforting feeling of wine-induced relaxation. Ahhhhh……
It is not my fault that I was born loving wine. What did mom expect by giving me a name like Florence? Obviously with a name which originated in Italy, I am genetically predispositioned to want wine with every meal. But alas, I have learned that alcohol in any form- even red wine which can be good for your heart- is not good for cancer. Therefore I have had to break my bad habit of having a glass of wine on a whim. While I still do engage in the occasional libation, I make sure to limit it to just ONE glass.
Cheers!
Tip: Limit your alcohol consumption.
Guest Blogger: Debjani Dass St. George
16 May 2012 1 Comment
in positive attitude cancer Tags: Debjani Dass St. George, Seafood chowder, Sharon's Nook
Today I am happy to welcome my old friend, and former Psychologist-colleague to my blog. Debjani blogs about food, and today shares an old favourite of ours, seafood chowder. All you vegans and vegetarians had better close your eyes for this one!
Here is the link: http://debjanidass.wordpress.com/author/debjanidass/
Perk # 88: A Good Reason To Spend More Time In My Garden
14 May 2012 9 Comments
in humor cancer Tags: garden, horticultural therapy, May
Flo’s Garden in May
Gardening is a way of showing that you believe in tomorrow.
- Author Unknown
A few years ago, on a sunny day in June, my friend Sherry dropped by for an unexpected visit and found me in my favourite place: my garden. As I glowed with pride, she commented on my perfectly manicured flower beds, and profusion of healthy shrubs and trees. “I don’t know how you manage it all!” she exclaimed. Then she had the misfortune of coming inside for a cup of coffee and the mystery was solved. While my flower beds were perfectly made, my beds inside were not. I couldn’t help but notice the look of shock on her face as a dust bunny the size of a tumble weed rolled across the hardwood floor in front of her. I could have sworn I heard the strain of old west music, and would not have been the least bit surprised had a cowboy popped out of the closet and challenged us to a shoot out. (I had seen stranger things fall out of that closet!) In my state of embarrassment, I made a vow to myself that never again would I be caught in this situation. I would ration my gardening hours to be used only as a reward for completing housework. That was working out pretty good; I could walk across my floor without sticking to it (most days), the kids had clean clothes to wear, and I rarely ran out of bread or milk. But then I got cancer.
Cancer gave me a great excuse to once again ignore the housework and hang out in my garden. This time however, it is totally legitimate. You see, I no longer garden for my own selfish pleasure, or even as a means of housework avoidance. Now gardening is therapeutic, and Horticultural Therapy happens to be a critical component to my recovery plan. So if you happen to drop by and find my house in a mess while I am happily puttering around in my garden, feel free to throw in a load of laundry. Hey, it’s no different than when I was on chemo!
Flo’s Laundry Room in May
Tip: Houswork can wait!
Say A Prayer
11 May 2012 13 Comments
Today I will not talk about the perks of having cancer. Instead I ask that you stop and say a prayer for those who lives are affected by the disease.
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I sought out others living in my area who were also fighting this disease. We compared our stories and offered each other hope. It’s been just over a year since cancer came into my life and I feel as if I am standing in the middle of a battle field. First I saw Michelle fall, then Hester, and just two days ago, Sandy. Sandy was a colleague of mine who was dignosed just weeks after me, also with stage 3 breast cancer.
In a way, I feel guilty, I suppose in the same way that a soldier feels guilty as he looks around the battle field and sees his fallen comrades and wonders, “Why was I spared?” Was it luck? Fate? Destiny? I guess it is not for us to know in this lifetime. Rest in peace, my friends.
Perk # 87: Cancer Gave Me The Courage To Step Outside My Comfort Zone
07 May 2012 10 Comments
in positive attitude cancer Tags: cancer retreat, CBCF, fear of public speaking, Paula Tessier
According to the Wall Street Journal, public speaking is the number one fear of people in North America. Death is number two. In other words, if you were going to a funeral, you would rather be the one in the box than the person giving the eulogy. In January, when Paula Tessier, (Provincial Coordinator for the CBCF), invited me to be guest speaker at this year’s Provincial Annual Retreat, I wasn’t sure that I would have the nerve to do it. While I had experience with public speaking, my skills had gotten a little rusty in my time away from work, and the thought of giving a speech to a group of 200 people ranked right up there with bungee cord jumping and running with the bulls.
In perk # 83, I spoke of cancer being my new cause with my goal being to spread the word about the benefits of facing cancer with a positive attitude. What better place to promote my cause than with a captive audience of women in various stages of their breast cancer journey. But I wasn’t sure if I would be able to re-confront my old fear. When I was a child, my father taught me these words: “Do what you fear and your fear will disappear.” I reasoned that if I could face cancer head on, then I could certainly take on this challenge. And so I did it! Not only did I give my speech, but….if I do say so myself, judging from the feedback I got afterwards….I ROCKED IT! And Dad was right, now that I have done it, the thought of speaking in public again doesn’t scare me as much. In fact, I have even accepted another speaking engagement for July and I look forward to others as well.
Kudos to Paula and her committee for organizing an excellent retreat. I learned lots of valuable information, and made some new friends along the way.
Me with my new friends, Susan (left) and Judy (right)
Tip: Do what you fear and your fear will disappear!
